The Evolution of the Beer Nerd

Beer Nerd, Beer Geek, Beer Connoisseur, Beer Bully, Alcoholic..... These may be some of the names you have come across in your beer adventures.  We all have to start some place, but where we end up may vary greatly.  I want to take you on the journey of the Beer Nerd. Now, not all instances may apply but what we will discover is that even if it doesn't apply to you it may apply to someone you know. Do we need an intervention? Probably not....

The Beer Beginner

How did it start for you?  Were you drinking Miller High Life and notice someone was drinking a Spotted Cow and wondered what it tasted like? Were you shamed into trying something new? Maybe you just got curious of all the different beer styles there are while you browsed the beer aisle looking for that 40oz of Olde English 800.  Doesn't matter how you started, all that matters is that you did. For me I was well into my 30's and historically hated beer. I could choke down a High Life, but a Lite was way too bitter for me.

How can you tell a beer beginner?  This person may be excited for that mixed 12 pack from a local brewery and invites you to a tasting.  Perhaps they start to tell you about this amazing new brewery they discovered in a neighboring state and they cannot believe their luck that they found their beer in their local grocery store. A guy’s night out consists of going to a brewpub downtown and trying something called a flight, where you can try all different beers on one tray.  The sheer excitement for a breweries yearly offerings is usually enough to give away someone who is just getting into the game.

There is no reason to be shy about this or embarrassed.  Just like everyone else, you will start to learn the differences between styles and gravitate towards one you like best.  This is the time to ask the appropriate questions or start doing some Google searches for terms you heard during a conversation with a bartender that you just didn't quite understand.  If anyone gives you shit, just tell them you are learning. Most beer people are salt of the earth people and they will want to help you learn and pass on any knowledge they have.

The Novice

You've now discovered that IPA's are called India Pale Ales and that this style started off because of some ancient historical story about transporting beer from England to India on a ship.  You've stopped buying full 6-packs of beer but have opted to go with a build your own 6-pack because you can try different beers.  Weekend adventures now consist of stopping at a local brewery to check out the scene. Dinners are now at restaurants with a decent tap list.  You've discovered this cool new App called Untappd where you can log all your beers and Beer Advocate is now your new home page. Congrats, you have graduated to the next level.

Depending on your social circle you may now be considered the beer guy. You come to parties with your own beer and it's usually a couple six packs of obscure named beers like Arrogant Bastard or Zombie Dust.  You are drinking beer that is in season and always have something tasty on hand in the fridge. You may be toying with the idea of making your own beer or asked for a beer of the month club membership for Christmas.  Life is pretty exciting right now because there is so many good beers that the options are endless and you can do this forever!!

You just got your first invite to something called a bottle share. It where you go to someone’s house and everyone brings a bottle or two to share with everyone.  You are both excited and scared!  What do I bring? Will you know anyone else there? Should you eat beforehand? You start to wonder if you are even ready for this but your buddy reassures you that the guys you are meeting up with just like to get together, drink some good beers and shoot the shit.  You decide to bite the bullet and go, what the worse that can happen.  Then it happens....

The Next Level

That bottle share really opened your eyes to what is going on out there in the craft beer world. You learned that people cellar beer like they do wine!  Breweries have special beers they release only once a year?!?  People actually send beer to each other?!?! What have you stumbled onto here?  Your world just got both more exciting and complicated at the same time.  You decide you need to learn more about beer! Who knew there was so many different varieties of hops and they all impart a different flavor into your beer? The beer shopping trips are now more deliberate and direct where you may find 5 or 6 different beers that represent the same style so you can taste the differences between breweries. You seek out beers you can’t buy locally because you want to try something new and exciting. A new word shows up in your vocabulary, Beercations!  This is where you need to be careful though because the next step will take you on a wild adventure depending on which direction you go when you get to that fork in the road.

The Fork in the Road

It’s time to determine where you end up on this beer journey. It’s not to say that you can’t take a different direction once you decide where beer lives on your priority list. Keep in mind that this is my own observation and you may have an entirely different take on it or disagree with me all together.

-         The Truck Chaser – This person is forever in search of the latest and greatest beers. They may travel to neighboring states to get special releases but you will always see them at brewery only releases.  They are known to every bottle shop in a 20-mile radius because they call constantly asking if the newest release is there yet and if not when will it get there.  They call restaurants asking what their tap list looks like and when a special tapping will take place. Some are literally known to actually follow delivery trucks to different shops in hopes of getting that coveted beer.  Sometimes these people will seek out information from others but will never be willing to share any information they may have. Once they find their “honey hole” they will fight tooth and nail to keep it a secret but won’t hesitate to let the world know they got the latest beer.  You both love and hate this person, but you will always see them at bottle shares opening their latest acquisition.

-         The Whale Slayer – This person has elevated their beer acquisition to include whales. What’s a whale? In the beer community, this is a highly sought after, hard to get and usually limited release beer. They seem to have an endless cash flow as every week they are getting package after package of rare beers or traveling the country to acquire said beer.  They seem to be pretty popular because everyone wants them around, presumably because they may bring one of those whales with them.  Some people will start to only associate with other whale slayers for one reason or another. I will let you conclude on why that may happen.  This person may even be considered a watcher. They will bring their beers to a share and lay in wait until someone brings out a whale before presenting the beers they brought, but if no one brings out a beer worthy then maybe those bottles never make it out of the bag. If they do decide to bring it out they may only pour it for their friends and hang on to that bottle so that only the people they choose can have a taste.

-         The Hoarder – Does this person even drink beer? They seem to have so much of it but you aren’t sure if they even drink it.  Okay, let’s be honest here, they most likely drink it but probably not at the mass levels some of us go through.  If all beer production stopped, this person would be good for several years.

-         The Ticker – Gotta get them all!!  This person has a fun passion for all things malt based and will try anything once.  They seem to have an appreciation for the craft but some things they may check into on Untappd make you cringe. They are impossible to buy beer for because they most likely have already had it.  It’s a special day when you bring a beer they haven’t had but chances are you had to go to a small brewery in Wyoming to acquire it!

-         The Trophy Collector – This person only wants the most rare and hard to find bottles of beer. They are known for acquiring local whales in hopes to trade them on the national trade boards to acquire bigger whales.  It’s like that person who started off with a paperclip and traded their way to a yacht.  They aren’t in it for the love of beer but rather the status that comes with having the most coveted of beers.  Good luck being around when they finally decide to open one of them. Sometimes they become elitist and will only associate with people that may also possess that type of personality or status within a beer group.  To be fair there are some collectors who are really generous with their beers and will open one that a friend has been dying to try. They may even donate some of their beers for a charitable event because they know it will fetch top dollar for that charity.

-         Buy Local – This person may not have started off here but after a few years of chasing beers around town they are just sick of the game.  They still may acquire a whale here or there but only if they stumble across it.  They figure that with so much good beer being available at the local breweries why go after things made in different states.  They become staples of the local beer community and friendly with the staff at most of the breweries.  They will typically be seen at most beer events, whether it be local beer festivals, special brewery releases or at beer dinners hosted by the local restaurants. 

This is a broad stroke of the brush. Most times people will fall within some or all of these categories at one time or another. Most beer people I have met have been pretty damn amazing people but make no mistake that some are definitely worth avoiding.

I think that covers it but did I miss one? I am sure one of you will let me know if I did!

Self-Reflection

Where would I put myself on the spectrum of the beer nerd?  It’s actually a hard thing to determine. I have the great fortune of traveling for work so I will visit local breweries any chance I get and bring back local favorites to share with my friends.  I don’t really chase much beer but will buy it if its presents itself.  I have a ton of beer, more than any one person should really poses in my opinion but my annual beer cellar clearing parties tend to help bring it down a notch.  I would say I am most likely somewhere in the middle of the pack.

What I can tell you is that my appreciate for the craft has grown and evolved over the years.  I appreciate being able to try many different beers, learn the business of beer and be part of a community that can rally around having good beer.  Beer is very social for me and the day that it stops being a fun social engagement is the day I buy my last beer.

Share with me your thoughts! Did I get it right? Do you see yourself in any or all of these categories? Am I bat shit crazy and don’t know what I am talking about?  Either way I would like to hear what you have to say!